2/3/14

'Glass, the Wall's Ghost' Album / 'Failsafe-B' Album

 

I haven’t been online in little over a year, needed a break. Looked at my this blog for the first time, saw the Recent Publications sidebar, thought I should maybe amend that to read “Not So…” Anyway, I stopped trying to get books/stories/poems published. It wasn’t making me happy anymore. I began focusing more on getting published (and, when finally published, my awful sales) than I did on the pleasure and release/relief of writing itself, which meant I had to stop for a while.

I decided to record an album, and spent the past year recording music at home on a Tascam DP-02 digital 8-track. 
I sold some of my things to get it, as well as a bass guitar, a Craigslist drum set and a Craigslist piano. (I already had an acoustic guitar, an electric guitar and a keyboard.) The Tascam itself has seen better days. Crucial buttons like Play, Record, Stop, and Rewind don’t always work.

The project is called Glass, the Wall’s Ghost
I wrote/sang the music/lyrics, played all the instruments. The album is now finished, and I’ve put it up at Bandcamp. I wasn’t sure I should post it, because I don’t want to think about whether or not anyone will listen to it or buy it or whatever. I recorded it for me, but I’m also putting it up for me—to know I accomplished it (and as a way of maybe overcoming a now swollen online agoraphobia).


I’ve also posted an album by my old hip-hop project, Failsafe-Bc. 2004-05. I did the music for it, and rapped. My friend Nate Hughes rocks a few tracks, too. I’m working on putting up some other music I’ve done over the past several years (at least, what I can find of it). I’m working on another Glass, the Wall’s Ghost album. I think I feel least like an idiot writing and recording music alone in my room than I do in any other area of my life.

4/7/12

Piece in Wigleaf / 'Lepers and Mannequins' Review

I have a new piece in Wigleaf today, "You Will Be Alone for the Rest of Your Life," an excerpt from an unpublished novel, Trawling Oblivion. Other excerpts have appeared in Alice Blue Review, elimae, Fix it Broken, >kill author, Matchbook, Necessary Fiction, Storyglossia, among other places.

Also, Michael Allen Rose and his Party Wolves give a round-table group-reviewed of my mock novel, Lepers and Mannequins.

3/8/12

The Page Cannot Be Found

You can visit almost any internet writer’s blog/website, browse their list of publications, and at least (~) a third of the links lead to a web page that cannot be found.

Stories this writer worked hard on, sent to at least (~) 10-20 online journals only to be rejected, but finally were accepted by a journal this writer has read at least (~) every issue of and, when published,this writer proudly posted on their blog/website that, indeed, one editor found something about one of this writer’s stories he/she thought worthy to include in the next issue of his/her journal (or, if not his/her journal, the journal he/she is a contributing editor for).

This one publication no doubt, at the time, brought this writer a much needed boost of confidence in the otherwise hollow venture of achieving a modicum of temporary literary immortality, gave this writer a little courage to continue writing and sending that writing to more editors for consideration, made this writer feel less ashamed by/afraid of his/her own writing and of rejection overall and more understanding of the idea that not everyone will like his/her writing, but that there is probably, eventually, someone who will.

In a sea of rejection, a lighthouse… That’s stupid. Fucking 'sea of rejection'. Fucking 'lighthouse'. Stupid.

This writer, at the time, most likely grew obsessed with sending his/her writing to all the 'major' online literary journals, to feel minutely 'famous' knowing other people would potentially think differently about his/her work (indeed, think at all about his/her work), as it is now published in this one online literary journal.

But this doesn’t always happen, at least not as immediately as this writer initially hoped. Other writers’ writing also appears in this issue, and this writer will no doubt be overlooked by the vast majority of other writers and readers.

One day, though, someone may find themselves trawling this writer’s blog/website, having read something this writer wrote (a) year(s) ago in the archives of a still-publishing journal, feeling at least (~) mildly interested enough to read more.

This someone, however, visits this writer's blog/website and comes to the list of publications and finds the title of a story or poem they think seems interesting, and this someone clicks on the link.

This link leads only to a page that cannot be found.

This story is lost, the link dead.

This missing story has a story of its own, a story of the story its writer did not take into consideration—a story of loss, of prediction in retrospect.

The ephemerality of creative conquest, preservation of finite pleasure.

This someone, trawling this writer's publications list, maybe feels thankful he/she is emotionally obligated to feel only a vague sense of disappointment at not being able to read this story or poem that seemed interesting, and feels lucky to not have written it.

This someone quickly finds something else to click on.

_________


Here are some stories I wrote that no longer appear online, in reverse chronological order...

2/27/12

New Work in Broken Pencil & Dogzplot

Broken Pencil Issue #54 is out, and includes a piece from my unpublished novel, The Immortals Act Their Age, called “Fulton Downhill.” Ken Sparling, one of my favorite writers, solicited me for this issue. Also, Dogzplot’s "Vagina Saint" issue is up, including work from DJ Berndt, Lindsay Hunter, Elizabeth Ellen, xTx, Robert Duncan Gray, Rachel Hartley-Smith, Jonathan Deane, Jereme Dean, and a piece by me.

2/9/12

Interview w/ J.A. Tyler @ MonkeyBicycle

J.A. Tyler interviewed me about my mock novel, Lepers and Mannequins, up at the MonkeyBicycle blog. This is the first time anything I've written has ever appeared at/on/in MonkeyBicycle. And I've tried. This feels pretty good. I wish I'd discussed more about how the novel is a mock novel, how it mocks narrative and plot devices by using narrative and plot devices to do so. I guess that's all else there is to say, really: Aside from everything I discuss in the interview, the novel mocks narrative and plot devices by using narrative and plot devices to mock narrative and plot devices.

1/28/12

Review of / Interview re 'Lepers...' / Egyptian Splenda

Spike Marlow, one of seven other 2011 New Bizarro Series Authors (author of Placenta of Love), reviewed my (mock) novel, Lepers and Mannequins, and interviewed me re the novel at her blog. Bizarro Central also covered the interview, and also reposted my interview with Justin Grimbol. Spike also posted a story from my unpublished novel of stories, The Immortals Act Their Age, called "Egyptian Splenda."

1/21/12

Peacock Feathers & Virtual Apples

It gets to the point where you’re not sure what exactly it is an apple a day is supposed to keep away. You can remember only three kinds of fish, and you’re not getting any younger.

You sleep on a bed. You try fitting a snow globe into your mouth. You begin to ask all the important questions.

How did [c]hristians ever meet before the advent of christianmingle.com? Why would [g]od wait so long to have humans invent the internet so more [c]hristians could meet and find love and procreate?

Why wouldn’t [g]od just have the [c]hristians [h]e wants to fall in love with each other live in the same city, the same neighborhood, the same street, the same house? Well, some do, maybe.

Was it [g]od’s plan to have humans eventually invent the internet so that more [c]hristians could meet and find love and procreate?

It is believed that [g]od is outside time. If there is no time, then [g]od either always created the universe or [h]e never created the universe. There could not be a point in time when the universe did or did not exist.

If [g]od created the universe, then christianmingle.com has existed since forever (but forever implies non-time, so chistianmingle.com never existed which means maybe life does not exist...). But there are television commercials convincing us to believe otherwise, so now I don’t know what to think.

American commercials do nothing but promote treating other people like shit because other people don’t have something you have, or because they have something you want. Every commercial I see lately is just, someone has something someone else wants, and someone won’t let someone else have it.

Or someone makes someone else jealous, makes someone else feel they don’t deserve it. Like, someone in a commercial is eating something and their friend wants some, and their friend distracts them and when they turn back around their friend ate all the food.

What if [c]hristians meet on christianmingle.com, actually fall in love, procreate, and their pious progeny grow up unable to find any other [c]hristians in their immediate area, and so must resort to christianmingle.com to find another lonely [c]hristian?

People who find love without the aid of computers, who meet other people in real life and fall in love, always say things like, “It was meant to be,” or “It was fate,” then hug each other real big with cutesy, wrinkle-nosed smiles while their friends roll their eyes like motorcycle wheels.

I think it’s just, you happen to live in the same city, accidentally, and the inevitability of you meeting at some point was…inevitable. Everyone knows at least one other person.

If you didn’t meet, or did but you didn’t fall in love, it’s just as easy to think, “It wasn’t meant to be.” Was christianmingle.com meant to be? Was this part of [g]od’s divine plan? What else are we not allowed to learn from television commercials?

There’s that commercial where someone has miniature hamburgers and his coworkers steal them all because the miniature hamburgers are so good and his coworkers can’t resist them. The Temptation of Wilde. This person’s coworkers must have seen a commercial that explained to them how good these miniature hamburgers were. (I’m afraid they wouldn’t’ve figured it out on their own.)

This is how we’re taught to behave. Don’t share anything you have, steal from your friends before they have a chance to refuse to share with you. [C]hristian nation.

The forbidden fruit, despite various artists’ depictions, was not an apple. The fruit is not mentioned by name in the bible, though biblical scholars, and the writers/producers of White Men Can't Jump, contend it was a quince.

Other experts believe the human race is not actually descended from two people whose children would’ve had to’ve slept together to create all the other humans who appear out of nowhere a few chapters into Genesis.

Probably, there are more Phil Collins fans than Peter Gabriel fans.

I liked that Gervais movie, The Invention of Lying. The movie takes place in contemporary life, and its characters exist in our culture. The only difference is: No one lies. Everyone tells the truth, compulsively, almost biologically inclined to do so. People tell other people exactly what they think, regardless of how it will affect them.

The movie explores how religion is merely a fabrication, an institution invented to offer comfort to people who know they’re going to die. (Other interpretations of why religion was invented include the acquisition of power, lawn fetes and really fun hats.)

But the problem with the movie’s premise is that it presupposes religion is secondary to civilization. It takes place in a world already built, a world with a history that somehow propelled it toward the same point in time in which we exist. But I don’t think anything would’ve gotten done without religion.

Civilization is based on religion, and despite my loathing of religion and its dangerous influence on people, I don’t think humans would’ve erected a civilization without lying to each other and ourselves about the nature of existence, just going around telling the truth all day.

Civilization is how men say "Let’s fuck" without being direct about it. Civilization is nothing more than peacock feathers. Without such lies, we’d’ve descended into chaos long ago.

But there is already chaos. You know this, you feel it. You begin to forget there’s no [g]od. You begin to forget what the important questions are.

You are getting younger. Everyone is. The end is getting younger. Waking up feels the same as going back to sleep.

You begin to realize there’s no question you could ask that you could ever receive a sufficient answer to. There are so many kinds of fish. You throw the snow globe against the wall.

Why do we care about things? Is it because we’re afraid to admit that we’re alone?

Other than everything, I can't think of one thing I'm afraid of. All I know is, I don’t believe in [g]od and it would take a miracle for me to feel loved.

1/16/12

Review of 'Lepers...' @ Publishing Genius

Adam Robinson reviewed my (mock) novel, Lepers and Mannequins, over at the Publishing Genius blog, featuring correspondence between the two of us from Sept. 2009 regarding an early draft of the novel. Thanks again, Adam...

1/15/12

'Lepers and Mannequins' Surprise Giveaway

I’m giving away five copies of my (mock) novel, Lepers and Mannequins—recently published by Eraserhead Press as part of the 2011 New Bizarro Author Series—, to the first five people (# of copies available listed below) to leave a comment on this post. After leaving a comment, please send your snail-mail spot to ericbeeny[at]gmail.com.

Here is a grainy digital photo of me being surprised during this surprise giveaway:


If you like the book, please pressure your friend(s) to purchase one-to-several copies from AmazonPowell’s or Barnes & Noble. Simply lay your head on your friend(s')'s chest(s), listen to your friend(s')'s heartbeat(s), stroke your friend(s')'s hair with the hand of a severed mannequin arm, whisper, "You read that book about the lepers? It's kind of okay."

You and your friend(s) can also rate Lepers and Mannequins on Goodreads, along with some other books I've written. (Feel free to pressure your friend[s] to buy my other books, and/or read some e-books I wrote, too (Milk Like a Melted Ghost, The Dying Bloom, etc.), by using the same mildly disturbing/intrusive sincerity tactic outlined above...).

More promotional giveaways to come. Thank you in advance for your time and consideration, and happy new year...

Copies remaining: Less Than Zero...

1/11/12

Interview w/ Justin Grimbol

Justin Grimbol, one of seven other 2011 New Bizarro Series Authors (author of The Crud Masters), reviewed my (mock) novel, Lepers andMannequins, and interviewed me at his blog.

11/29/11

'Lepers and Mannequins' (Eraserhead Press, 2011)

My seventh book, and first print novel (mock novel, really), Lepers and Mannequins, one of eight in this year’s New Bizarro Author Series published by Eraserhead Press, is now available at Amazon, Powell's Books and Barnes & Noble. Here is the cover, its image designed by my friend, Kenny Dumas:


In 2009, I published The Dying Bloom (e-Novel, Pangur Ban Party).

In 2010, I published two books: Snowing Fireflies (Stories, Folded Word Press) and Of Creatures (Poems, Gold Wake Press).

In 2011, I've published four books: Milk Like a Melted Ghost (e-Novel, Thumbscrews Press), Pseudo-Masochism (Sex/Love Poems, Anonymosity Press), How Much the Jaw Weighs (Political Poems, Anonymosity Press) and now Lepers and Mannequins (Novel, Eraserhead Press).

(Still unpublished novels: Trawling Oblivion, The Immortals Act Their Age, The Quarantine Ceremony, Mermaid Sackrace.)

I hope you'll consider scooping up a copy from Powell'sAmazon or Barnes & Noble. You can also rate Lepers and Mannequins on Goodreads. Thank you for reading.

10/23/11

Interview w/ Matt DeBenedictis

Matt DeBenedictis, author of the chapbooks Congratulations! There's No Last Place if Everyone is Dead, A Perfect Disgrace and I Am a Cloud, and editor/publisher of Safety Third Press, recently interviewed me about my two recently self-published poetry collections, Pseudo-Masochism and How Much the Jaw Weighs. We talk politics, sex, religion, fatherhood, and literature. A while back, Matt wrote a one-line review of my chapbook Snowing Fireflies on Goodreads that's way better than anything in Snowing Fireflies: "A touch when you forget what skin feels like." Thanks again, Matt...