Interview w/ Spike Marlow

Spike Marlow, one of seven other 2011 New Bizarro Series Authors (author of Placenta of Love), reviewed my (mock) novel, Lepers and Mannequins, and interviewed me re the novel at her blog. Bizarro Central also covered the interview, and also reposted my interview with Justin Grimbol.

Peacock Feathers & Virtual Apples

It gets to the point where you’re not sure what exactly it is an apple a day is supposed to keep away. You can remember only three kinds of fish, and you’re not getting any younger.

You sleep on a bed. You try fitting a snow globe into your mouth. You begin to ask all the important questions.

How did [c]hristians ever meet before the advent of christianmingle.com? Why would [g]od wait so long to have humans invent the internet so more [c]hristians could meet and find love and procreate?

Why wouldn’t [g]od just have the [c]hristians [h]e wants to fall in love with each other live in the same city, the same neighborhood, the same street, the same house? Well, some do, maybe.

Was it [g]od’s plan to have humans eventually invent the internet so that more [c]hristians could meet and find love and procreate?

It is believed that [g]od is outside time. If there is no time, then [g]od either always created the universe or [h]e never created the universe. There could not be a point in time when the universe did or did not exist.

If [g]od created the universe, then christianmingle.com has existed since forever (but forever implies non-time, so chistianmingle.com never existed which means maybe life does not exist...). But there are television commercials convincing us to believe otherwise, so now I don’t know what to think.

American commercials do nothing but promote treating other people like shit because other people don’t have something you have, or because they have something you want. Every commercial I see lately is just, someone has something someone else wants, and someone won’t let someone else have it.

Or someone makes someone else jealous, makes someone else feel they don’t deserve it. Like, someone in a commercial is eating something and their friend wants some, and their friend distracts them and when they turn back around their friend ate all the food.

What if [c]hristians meet on christianmingle.com, actually fall in love, procreate, and their pious progeny grow up unable to find any other [c]hristians in their immediate area, and so must resort to christianmingle.com to find another lonely [c]hristian?

People who find love without the aid of computers, who meet other people in real life and fall in love, always say things like, “It was meant to be,” or “It was fate,” then hug each other real big with cutesy, wrinkle-nosed smiles while their friends roll their eyes like motorcycle wheels.

I think it’s just, you happen to live in the same city, accidentally, and the inevitability of you meeting at some point was…inevitable. Everyone knows at least one other person.

If you didn’t meet, or did but you didn’t fall in love, it’s just as easy to think, “It wasn’t meant to be.” Was christianmingle.com meant to be? Was this part of [g]od’s divine plan? What else are we not allowed to learn from television commercials?

There’s that commercial where someone has miniature hamburgers and his coworkers steal them all because the miniature hamburgers are so good and his coworkers can’t resist them. The Temptation of Wilde. This person’s coworkers must have seen a commercial that explained to them how good these miniature hamburgers were. (I’m afraid they wouldn’t’ve figured it out on their own.)

This is how we’re taught to behave. Don’t share anything you have, steal from your friends before they have a chance to refuse to share with you. [C]hristian nation.

The forbidden fruit, despite various artists’ depictions, was not an apple. The fruit is not mentioned by name in the bible, though biblical scholars, and the writers/producers of White Men Can't Jump, contend it was a quince.

Other experts believe the human race is not actually descended from two people whose children would’ve had to’ve slept together to create all the other humans who appear out of nowhere a few chapters into Genesis.

Probably, there are more Phil Collins fans than Peter Gabriel fans.

I liked that Gervais movie, The Invention of Lying. The movie takes place in contemporary life, and its characters exist in our culture. The only difference is: No one lies. Everyone tells the truth, compulsively, almost biologically inclined to do so. People tell other people exactly what they think, regardless of how it will affect them.

The movie explores how religion is merely a fabrication, an institution invented to offer comfort to people who know they’re going to die. (Other interpretations of why religion was invented include the acquisition of power, lawn fetes and really fun hats.)

But the problem with the movie’s premise is that it presupposes religion is secondary to civilization. It takes place in a world already built, a world with a history that somehow propelled it toward the same point in time in which we exist. But I don’t think anything would’ve gotten done without religion.

Civilization is based on religion, and despite my loathing of religion and its dangerous influence on people, I don’t think humans would’ve erected a civilization without lying to each other and ourselves about the nature of existence, just going around telling the truth all day.

Civilization is how men say "Let’s fuck" without being direct about it. Civilization is nothing more than peacock feathers. Without such lies, we’d’ve descended into chaos long ago.

But there is already chaos. You know this, you feel it. You begin to forget there’s no [g]od. You begin to forget what the important questions are.

You are getting younger. Everyone is. The end is getting younger. Waking up feels the same as going back to sleep.

You begin to realize there’s no question you could ask that you could ever receive a sufficient answer to. There are so many kinds of fish. You throw the snow globe against the wall.

Why do we care about things? Is it because we’re afraid to admit that we’re alone?

Other than everything, I can't think of one thing I'm afraid of. All I know is, I don’t believe in [g]od and it would take a miracle for me to feel loved.

Review of 'Lepers...' @ Publishing Genius

Adam Robinson reviewed my (mock) novel, Lepers and Mannequins, over at the Publishing Genius blog, featuring correspondence between the two of us from Sept. 2009 regarding an early draft of the novel. Thanks again, Adam...

'Lepers and Mannequins' Surprise Giveaway

I’m giving away five copies of my (mock) novel, Lepers and Mannequins—recently published by Eraserhead Press as part of the 2011 New Bizarro Author Series—, to the first five people (# of copies available listed below) to leave a comment on this post. After leaving a comment, please send your snail-mail spot to ericbeeny[at]gmail.com.

Here is a grainy digital photo of me being surprised during this surprise giveaway:

If you like the book, please pressure your friend(s) to purchase one-to-several copies from Amazon, Powell’s or Barnes & Noble. Simply lay your head on your friend(s')'s chest(s), listen to your friend(s')'s heartbeat(s), stroke your friend(s')'s hair with the hand of a severed mannequin arm, whisper, "You read that book about the lepers? It's kind of okay."

You and your friend(s) can also rate Lepers and Mannequins on Goodreads, along with some other books I've written. (Feel free to pressure your friend[s] to buy my other books, and/or read some e-books I wrote, too (Milk Like a Melted Ghost, The Dying Bloom, etc.), by using the same mildly disturbing/intrusive sincerity tactic outlined above...).

More promotional giveaways to come. Thank you in advance for your time and consideration, and happy new year...

Copies remaining: Less Than Zero...

Interview w/ Justin Grimbol

Justin Grimbol, one of seven other 2011 New Bizarro Series Authors (author of The Crud Masters), reviewed my (mock) novel, Lepers andMannequins, and interviewed me at his blog.

'Lepers and Mannequins' (Eraserhead Press, 2011)

My seventh book, and first print novel (mock novel, really), Lepers and Mannequins, one of eight in this year’s New Bizarro Author Series published by Eraserhead Press, is now available at Amazon, Powell's Books and Barnes & Noble. Here is the cover, its image designed by my friend, Kenny Dumas:

In 2009, I published The Dying Bloom (e-Novel, Pangur Ban Party).

In 2010, I published two books: Snowing Fireflies (Stories, Folded Word Press) and Of Creatures (Poems, Gold Wake Press).

In 2011, I've published four books: Milk Like a Melted Ghost (e-Novel, Thumbscrews Press), Pseudo-Masochism (Sex/Love Poems, Anonymosity Press), How Much the Jaw Weighs (Political Poems, Anonymosity Press) and now Lepers and Mannequins (Novel, Eraserhead Press).

(Still unpublished novels: Trawling Oblivion, The Immortals Act Their Age, The Quarantine Ceremony, Mermaid Sackrace.)

I hope you'll consider scooping up a copy from Powell's, Amazon or Barnes & Noble. You can also rate Lepers and Mannequins on Goodreads. Thank you for reading.

Interview w/ Matt DeBenedictis

Matt DeBenedictis, author of the chapbooks Congratulations! There's No Last Place if Everyone is Dead, A Perfect Disgrace and I Am a Cloud, and editor/publisher of Safety Third Press, recently interviewed me about my two recently self-published poetry collections, Pseudo-Masochism and How Much the Jaw Weighs. We talk politics, sex, religion, fatherhood, and literature. A while back, Matt wrote a one-line review of my chapbook Snowing Fireflies on Goodreads that's way better than anything in Snowing Fireflies: "A touch when you forget what skin feels like." Thanks again, Matt...

>kill author, Issue #15

Five pieces from my unpublished novel, Trawling Oblivion, appear in >kill author Issue #15, along with poetry by Peter Schwartz, David Tomaloff and many others. Other excerpts from Trawling Oblivion have appeared in Alice Blue Review, elimae, Fix It Broken, matchbook, Necessary Fiction and Storyglossia.

Eraserhead Press to Publish 'Lepers and Mannequins', A Novel by Eric Beeny

My novel, Lepers and Mannequins, has been accepted for the 2011 New Bizarro Author Series to be published by Eraserhead Press this November. Thanks to editor Kevin Donihe for accepting it, and Lazy Fascist editor/publisher Cameron Pierce for recommending it to Kevin, then suggesting I send it to Kevin. It will be released this November during Bizarro Con 2011.

I wrote the entire first draft of the novel in a notebook back in March of 2008 while recovering from an appendectomy, staring out a window. The cover image for the novel, seen here, was designed by my friend Kenny Dumas (who also did the cover for my prose/poetry collection, Pseudo-Masochism).

Lepers and Mannequins is a mock novel, a surreal allegory about a leper colony warring with a tribe of mannequins over spare parts they need to put themselves back together. The novel’s two protagonists, Jaundice (a female mannequin) and Quall (a male leper), are in love in the midst of this war, recalling Romeo and Juliet. Through satire, the novel explores how disconnected people are from each other and themselves because of underlying issues like personal and cultural identity, love, sex, dominance and ownership, and how humans tend to objectify other humans for their own purposes, including women, but mostly just people they don’t know or understand.

In this latter sense, the novel also deals with the very human concern of war, and the possession of finite natural resources (in the novel, those resources being spare parts/limbs), and how humans on any side of any conflict must, by necessity, project the enemy as always plastic, two-dimensional, mannequin-like, because, if those fighting actually thought of the enemy as human, they might feel empathetic. The fact that humans in the novel rebuild themselves using mannequin parts shows how, through striving at any cost to maintain their humanity and their identity, they ultimately lose it. This is the mannequin metaphor, and suggests a surprising parallel: The mannequins were themselves once human...

Early versions of two chapters from the novel appeared in Ben Spivey and David Peak’s journal, Spilt Milk, and another chapter appeared in Pear Noir! #3. (Daniel Casebeer, editor of Pear Noir!, would later publish my novella, Milk Like a Melted Ghost, as an e-book for Thumbscrews Press.) Thank you for your time.

Story @ matchbook

I have a story up at matchbook this week, an excerpt from my unpublished novel, Trawling Oblivion called "Bridge." Thanks to editors Brian Mihok and Edward Mullany for allowing me to be the first writer whose work has appeared in matchbook twice. Other excerpts from Trawling Oblivion have appeared in Alice Blue Review, elimae, Fix It Broken, Necessary Fiction and Storyglossia.

Self-Publishing Two Collections: 'Pseudo-Masochism' and 'How Much the Jaw Weighs'

For various reasons, I’ve decided to self-publish my once-forthcoming collection of love/sex-themed prose/poetry, Pseudo-Masochism. A chapbook-length version of the manuscript was accepted by Medulla Publishing late last year to be published this past February, but that has not worked out as I’d hoped. So, I’ve decided to expand the original chapbook manuscript into a full-length collection and publish it myself.

I'm releasing it under the name of my own make-believe 'house', Anonymosity Press (a portmanteau of "anonymous" and "animosity," like being upset no one knows who you are—melodramatic, though apt for self-publishing...), a press I made up years ago while self-publishing handmade chapbooks to give out at readings. If you like love and (occasionally perverted) sex—which I think most of us are biologically obligated to (I can't be the only one)—, you'll maybe enjoy this collection. The cover art was done by my friend, Kenny Dumas. Here's what a few writers I admire have said about Pseudo-Masochism:

“Pseudo-Masochism blends bodies together—sexually, cognitively, playfully—to express insecurities, joys, and hopes. The word weapons in Beeny’s arsenal are on full display here, and his greatest feat—and finest irony—is exposure: Beeny blasts the spotlight on his timid narrator who then raises his shyness like a gold crown, flinching, unflinching, eyes adjusting to the brightness.”

—Mel Bosworth, author of Freight

“Eric Beeny says loads in a small space. His writing amasses more and more meaning through the repetition of objects and themes, culminating into something that speaks to the difficulties of sexual intimacy, any sort of intimacy, and maybe just intimacy with himself. Eric Beeny is a goddamn delight.”

—Brandi Wells, author of Please Don't Be Upset

“Yes, there is some sex in Pseudo-Masochism, but it is writhing with themes of love, hate, self-worthlessness and a smattering of oedipal undertones. Beeny’s hand is steady and delicate and writes with penmanship that punctures like a tattoo artist’s needle. This collection made me want to tell someone, everyone, that they are worthy of love—my hands shaking their shoulders.”

—xTx, author of Normally Special

I've also decided to self-publish my collection of socio-political poetry ("Poultry" [chicken-shit scribblings], as I've called it in the past, written mostly from 2001-2006, during the Bush Jr. administration [my early-to-mid 20's]) called How Much the Jaw Weighs. I've had some close calls, but it's been hard finding a publisher for this manuscript. (For example, Melville House wrote a detailed, page-long response explaining that they really liked it, but they ultimately couldn't accept it. It's those personalized close calls that are almost worse than flat-out, form-letter rejections...)

Many people feel poetry and politics are/should remain mutually exclusive. I don't. That's a whole other thing. Poems from this collection have appeared in lots of journals, both in print and online. Those editors liked and published these poems. People at readings I've done (readings I've done—not people) liked these poems. So, it feels safe to assume people who would read and enjoy this book do actually exist. If you're a left-wing atheist/humanist who likes wordplay (I can't be the only one), this is maybe the poetry collection for you.

I hope, if you're reading this, you'll consider purchasing either of these books (they're available now—why bother with a lengthy promotional process?), or any of my other books that have already been published by more legitimate presses. (You can also read my free e-books, Milk Like a Melted Ghost, The Dying Bloom, Ox Crossing Drawbridge, Gargling Cinderblocks and Watering the Fires [where you can read poems from How Much the Jaw Weighs].)

Self-publishing is, of course, frowned upon, but then I—as I'm sure most self-publishing authors do to justify their diversion from accepted (pun intended) publishing outlets—think about the many 'big-name' authors who published their own work (either because no one else would, or they just wanted complete control of their work): Twain, Joyce, Whitman, Woolf, cummings, Pound, Stein, Proust, King, Knott, and the list goes on. I'm not comparing myself to any of these people, my writing to theirs, only saying that, if you took the chance and scooped up a copy of Pseudo-Masochism or a copy of How Much the Jaw Weighs, you'd maybe find something, however small—if only a line—, you'd be happy you didn't miss out on. Thank you for your time.

An 'Immortal' @ Metazen

A chapter from my unpublished novel, The Immortals Act Their Age, called "The Abortion" is up @ Metazen today. Metazen published two other chapters from this novel as well: "Corporate Ladder" and "Inventing the Victim." Thanks to Frank Hinton and all the other editors of Metazen, including DJ Berndt and Len Kuntz...