'Snowing Fireflies' Hostage Crisis

I am holding 4 copies of Snowing Fireflies hostage, and I would very much like to release them as a gesture of good will. My demands are ridiculous and arbitrary, but simple. The first 2 people to comment on this post, stating their favorite song from the 1986 musical version of Little Shop of Horrors directed by Frank Oz and starring Rick Moranis and Ellen Greene, or stating their favorite quote from any episode of The Simpsons (preferably from seasons 1-12), will receive a copy of Snowing Fireflies.

I would also like to give away 2 copies of Snowing Fireflies for review, so, if you are interested in reviewing Snowing Fireflies, please say so in your comment (while still adhering to the above demands) and I will send you a copy. I am holding 4 copies in total hostage, which I would like to release from captivity, 2 of which will be review copies.

Here is what Shane Jones, author of Light Boxes (PGP, 2009; Penguin, 2010), wrote about Snowing Fireflies:

"A quaint and mysterious little collection that balances the unreal and real. Eric Beeny writes with a child-like wonder, resulting in powerful surreal images, and a yearning for human connection. It's a satisfying balancing act that I enjoyed immensely. I'm looking forward to the next thing Eric Beeny does."

I like Shane Jones. He's nice to me. He's nice to everyone. Shane Jones is a good human being. To the left is an image of my 6-year old daughter Maya's transcription of her favorite poem, "A So Sad Big Man," from Shane's collection, A Cake Appeared, published by Scrambler Books. She transcribed the poem by ear as I read it to her, without looking at the text.

Here is a review of Snowing Fireflies by Mel Bosworth, in which he states:

"Eric Beeny is one of the most consistent independent authors you’ll ever come across. He’s also, in my opinion, one of the best. And one of the humblest. You won’t find him shouting in the hallways of places like Facebook or Twitter. He’s more comfortable keeping it low key."
This was just before he urged me to get on Facebook and Twitter. I like Mel Bosworth. He's nice to me. He's nice to everyone. Mel Bosworth is a good human being.

(A review of Snowing Fireflies by J.A. Tyler is also forthcoming, I think, in the next issue of The Chapbook Review. The issue was supposed to come out in August, I guess, but, for some reason, seems to have been delayed.)

Thank you for your cooperation during this hostage crisis negotiation. As I type this, these 4 copies are fighting to breathe through snowballs like eggs duct-taped into their mouths. Please take pity on them before the incubators of their mouths melt the eggs and birds hatch, sharpen their beaks on the teeth of these copies and peck these copies' tongues and lips to ribbons trying to escape.*

Thank you.*


* This metaphor maybe would work better if I'd said something like the birds hatching were copies of Snowing Fireflies, and I was the mouth holding them hostage.
* If you weren't able to take part in this hostage negotiation, you can pay the publisher's ransom to help release all the hostages here: http://www.foldedword.com/buy/beeny.html
UPDATE: All the hostages have been released. Thank you for your cooperation during this hostage crisis...

7 comments:

Roxane Gay said...

I love Somewhere That's Green.

Eric Beeny said...

Roxane Gay is a good human being! Email me your address (ellipsis81@netzero.net), and I will release one of the hostages into your care. Thank you, Roxane...

Mel Bosworth said...

maybe "shy" would have been a better word choice than "humble." you can still be humble on facebook and twitter. it's just that you're more visible, but humbly so.

Jason Jordan said...

I pick "Suddenly, Seymour." Thanks!

You can mail my copy to:

Jason Jordan
3002 Grey Wolf Cove
New Albany, IN 47150

Also, I think Jessica talked to you about a review for decomP, so if you haven't sent one yet, you can include an additional copy for that. Same address.

Eric Beeny said...

@Mel 'Shy', yes. I like that word. But 'humble' is just as good. You're a good human being, Mel Bosworth, so encouraging and reassuring. Thank you...

@Jason Jason Jordan is a good human being! I'll release two of the hostages to you and Jessica. I hope you like them. They're really very nice, so very innocent. They'll be happy with you. Thanks, Jason...

Glen Binger said...

"Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try."

haha Homer is my favorite.

If there's any copies left, I'd be happy to review one over at The Broad Set.

Eric Beeny said...

Glen Binger is a good human being! That's a great line, Glen, from the episode "Burns' Heir," season 5. Another great quote along those lines is from the episode "Hungry, Hungry Homer" from season 12:

Homer: "Welcome to real life Lisa, you can't fight City Hall, A.K.A. BlockoLand. So don't even try!"
Marge: "What kind of a thing is that to tell your children?"
Homer: "It's what I always tell them. I told them that twice yesterday and then again as they were going to sleep."

Email me your address (ellipsis81@netzero.net) and I'll release the final hostage into your care. Thanks...