Coursework Completed: Now What?

I've now officially completed my Bachelor's coursework. I handed in my last paper and took all my finals this week. When I got home I laid in bed, half-relieved and half-scared out of my mind. I don't know what I'm going to do now.

I haven’t done too well this semester. I’ve had ‘senioritis’, or whatever they call it when you’re sick of doing shit you don’t care about anymore. Other things came up, too. My GPA has been 3.9 throughout all my previous semesters. I’m afraid to see what it’ll be after this one. I hope I graduate.

Anyway, if I manage to pass this semester’s classes, I’ll have my BA in English. I have no idea what I’m going to do then. I have no goals, no aspirations. I thought about applying to grad school, but I’m not sure I want to do school anymore. I like going to school, being in school, but not the pressure of all the work. (And work: I need a job. I've been tutoring part-time in the Writing Center on campus, but now I need something else.)

I’d like to get an MFA, but there aren’t any offered here in Buffalo, and I’m afraid to travel. So, MFA’s out. I'm thinking of applying to the University of Buffalo for the Poetics Program (which would be just a Masters in English, with a focus on Poetics).

I don't know. Other things. Life. I'm afraid. Of everything.

Because of school, I haven’t been able to read much of anything I want. I bought a lot of books with financial aid and loan money that I can’t wait to read. I want to post short reviews of them, too. Here’s an alphabetical list of books I've purchased (or traded for/received for free), will read and hopefully review:

Matt Bell’s How They Were Found
Andrew Borgstrom’s Explanations
Mel Bosworth’s Grease Stains, Kismet and Maternal Wisdom
Ana C.'s Make-Believe Love-Making
Jimmy Chen’s Typewriter
Shome Dasgupta’s i am here and You Are Gone
Zachary German’s Eat When You Feel Sad
Lindsay Hunter’s Daddy
Jason Jordan’s Cloud and Other Stories
Kendra Grant Malone’s Everything is Quiet
Adam Moorad's Oikos
Sam Pink’s Person
Sam Pink’s You Hear Ambulance Sounds and Think They Are for You
Steve Roggenbuck’s i am like october when i am dead
Ethel Rohan’s Cut Through the Bone
Shya Scanlon's Forecast
Ken Sparling’s Book
Audri Sousa’s Caspian Quilt
xTx’s He is Talking to the Fat Lady

I haven’t decided whether I will post individual reviews, or just post them all in one giant review post. A giant review post doesn’t make much sense to me, but I like the idea of having a giant review post. There's so much else I want to read, some of which I scooped up off Amazon pretty cheap.

Some other things:

Snowing Fireflies is available in a green edition for $5.00, and for $0.99 it’s available from Barnes and Noble as a NOOKbook. There’s still some copies of the Signature Series edition left, too.

Jason Behrends asked me to send him audio of me reading for his Orange Alert podcast, and he included one of the pieces I sent him in Episode 40 last week, “Living Expenses,” originally published in PANK. J. Bradley also reads a story in this episode called “Bury Me With It.”

Some other things:


Ethel Rohan said...

Congratulations on completing your BA, Eric, and best of luck going forward. I know fear, and know it's a bitch, but try to stay in the now, to savor your accomplishment. Trust that other opportunities will present themselves.


Eric Beeny said...

Thanks, Ethel. The 'now', yes. Hard to keep remembering that's where we really live...

Jason Jordan said...

Congrats, Eric. Have you thought about doing a low-res MFA? A lot of schools have them now.

Hope Cloud treats you well.

Eric Beeny said...

Thanks, Jason. Yes, I've thought about low-res, but haven't looked into them too much because there's still traveling involved, which I'm afraid of. It seems like a really viable option, though. When I think about traveling, I get excited and really want to do it, but then I remember I'd have to actually leave home. I think I really should get over it soon, though. Maybe finding a low-res program would help me work through it...