How to Become a Millionaire

1 /

Come up with a great idea on how to become a millionaire.

Write a book about putting your idea into practice.

Become an instructor.

Travel the country, the world.

Host seminars on how to become a millionaire, and have people pay you to know the secret(s) to becoming a millionaire.

Don’t give them the secret(s), just promise you’ll give them the secret(s).

People will pay you to pretend you know what you say you know.

You’ll become a millionaire.

You’ll eventually have to keep that a secret, keep the money to yourself.

2 /

Become an actor.

The best way to do that is to just be yourself.

Show up for auditions, talk to the other actors to find out who they’re pretending to be (Hint: it might be the same person you’re pretending to be—You).

Only one You to a role, so be the best You you can be.

Pretend to be anyone else, it won’t seem authentic.

3 /

Do something for a year.

Make it a project.

Look around, find something no one else has done.

Take time out of your life, go slumming.

Find a dead end job with absolutely no advancement opportunities and stay there as long as you can.

Budget your earnings.

Live on nothing.

Prove to yourself the 'American Dream' is still 'alive and kicking'.

Endure every hardship.

On purpose.

Then stop.

Write a book about what you learned.

People from FOX News will invite you onto their talk shows.

They’ll ask you questions.

Answer them in an exitedly subtle way that will insult the people you went slumming with who can’t afford to escape their circumstances and inspire others who can to want to write a book and plug it on national television.

Soon everyone will do something for a year, write a book about it and go on FOX News to plug their book.

The waiting room at FOX News will be filled with patriotic people like yourself, all talking to each other about how great things are now that they’ve taken time to show disenfranchised people how great things could be, if only they were someone else.

Mel Bosworth Reviews 'Snowing Fireflies'

Big Melly-Meltron Bosworth wrote a review of Snowing Fireflies for Outsider Writers Collective, and it went live today. I’m in awe of his analysis, and I thank him immensely for his kind words and thoughts on my work. Big thank you, Mel…

'On Reading' Series

I recently had the honor of writing a short piece for Shome Dasgupta’s series over at The Laughing Yeti, On Reading, and it was posted this morning. Other writers who’ve contributed pieces include amazing talents like Mel Bosworth, Matt Bell, Shane Jones, J.A. Tyler, Molly Gaudry, Sasha Fletcher, Roxane Gay, Brandi Wells, Jessii Carty, Amelia Gray, Jason Jordan, Brian Evenson, Kevin Sampsell, Matthew Savoca, CL Bledsoe, Ravi Mangla, Scott Garson, and many others. Here is a complete list.

Phobias

What’s that fear where you’re afraid to go swimming in the Gulf of Mexico because you think there might be an unfathomable amount of toxic crude oil gushing from a ruptured pipeline a mile underwater due to an incompetent oil industry’s negligence concerning the installation of proper failsafes in an attempt to cut both costs and corners and a government’s failure to regulate that oil industry? I have that...

Thinking a lot about the oil crisis in the gulf. Thinking about Capitalism and its effects on the Earth. Its effects on what we consider our version of 'civilization'. Capitalism is not a healthy economic system. Here is an essay I wrote about it, including how it relates to Darwinian Natural Selection. "Oh, well, he wrote an essay... That changes everything..."

I don’t know. I’m just tired of how we treat each other, how we treat ourselves, the Earth. My hippie-heart hurts. How we justify our existence and fuel it with the very substances which will not only ensure but expedite our inevitable ruin. For all its supposed technological advances, humanity as a whole is disappointingly primitive and may destroy itself before working up the courage and impetus to change. We are infinitely ephemeral.

Random thought: Video games rated Mature seem geared toward the complete opposite demographic. I’m afraid of humanity as a whole—when we’re not really killing each other, we’re pretending to kill each other. Random thought.

What’s that fear where you’re afraid to trust corporate monoliths which are legally viewed as 'persons' because you think they maybe don't care about the damage they cause to people's lives or to the Earth, because their self-interest reflects our own desire to survive excessively, because most people would probably do the same thing in that position? Yeah, I have that...

'Snowing Fireflies' Now Available for Pre-Order

From Folded Word Press:

"The wait has finally come to an end. Eric Beeny’s chapbook Snowing Fireflies is now available for preorder! Options for preorder are chapbook, chapbook signed, and chapbook as subscription.

Snowing Fireflies is a collection of stories written by Eric Beeny. A mixture of prose and poetry, Beeny’s unique writing style will not only draw the reader in, but keep them hooked and wanting more.

'If I get an idea I feel is worth pursuing, I’ll see where it leads or try taking it where I think it should go,' said Beeny when asked about his writing process. 'Sometimes a line I think of unfolds into a whole piece, others the piece appears in my head already unfolded, and I just need to iron out the wrinkles.'

When you preorder, if you use the coupon FWBG you’ll get a 5% discount. US shipping and CA sales tax (if applicable) are included in the price, but international shipping is an extra $2.50.

To preorder visit our store at: http://foldedword.bigcartel.com/"

You can also pre-order the entire second volume of Folded Word's Signature Chapbook Series here, including forthcoming chapbooks from Nathalie Boisard-Beudin, Nora Nadjarian, Ben Nardolilli, Michelle Ristuccia.

Also, BIG congratulations to Big Melly-Meltron Bosworth whose novella, Freight, will be published by Folded Word Press in 2011. His chapbook, When the Cats Razzed the Chickens (sold out), is now available for pre-order as a new pocket-sized zine series from Folded Word called InQuarto. The first volume of Signature Series Chapbooks, including Jessi Carty's The Wait of Atom, are available for pre-order in this format here.

First Glimpses of 'Snowing Fireflies'

Courtesy of Folded Word Press’s Twitpic page, here are some photos of Snowing Fireflies in production. I can’t wait to hold this chapbook in my hands. I can’t thank Jessi Graustein enough for her commitment to the quality of Folded Word Press chapbooks, as the amount of work she puts in is humbling. So, here are first glimpses of Snowing Fireflies:

An 'Immortal' in decomP

The June issue of decomP is live, and it includes a chapter from The Immortals Act Their Age called “Algorithms” (thanks again, Jason and Jared…). Also featured is prose by Derrick Medina, Matt Mullins, Chuck Augello, Kat Lewin, and poetry by Eric Burke, Michael de los Reyes, Nicolas Hampton, Ivy Page and Robert Wexelblatt. Word...