New elimae / 3 Reviews of 'Of Creatures' / Orange Alert Podcast: Episode 43 / 2010: A Year in Review

1/ NEW ELIMAE

The year’s first issue of elimae is up, and it includes two stories of mine called “The End is Getting Younger” and “The Growth” (Thanks again, Brandon and Coop…). Also in this issue are works by Parker Tettleton, Steve Roggenbuck, Troy Urquhart, Howie Good, Mike Topp, Edward Mullany, and others…

2/ 3 REVIEWS OF 'OF CREATURES'

Three reviews of my poetry collection, Of Creatures, surfaced this post week by Nick Ripatrazone, Jessi Graustein and Grady Harp (@Amazon.com). Thanks all, I'm happy you liked it...

3/ ORANGE ALERT PODCAST: EPISODE 43

Also, episode 43 of Orange Alert Podcast premieres this week and features me reading a poem called “Ethnic Cleansing” (Thanks, Jason…). Also reading this week is Shannon Peil, Noel Sloboda and Ben Frost...

4/ 2010: A YEAR IN REVIEW

It’s a new year, which doesn’t mean anything, existing as we do in an arbitrarily determined point in time we use to measure our short, silly little lives. I watched people on television, screaming, waving their hands in the air like they just don't care, hugging, kissing by licking each other's tongues, and I wondered what they were actually celebrating. It's ridiculous. It's funny, though: I criticize this "arbitrarily determined point in time," yet can't believe I'm going to be 30 this month. "The End is Getting Younger," indeed.

Things happened last year, and things didn't happen last year. I published two print collections of stories and poetry in 2010: Snowing Fireflies (Folded Word Press) and Of Creatures (Gold Wake Press), neither of which have sold very well, but I'm extremely grateful for the small group of humans who’ve bought and/or read my books.

I have two things coming out this year: Pseudo-Masochism (Print, Medulla Publishing) and Milk Like a Melted Ghost (e-Book, Thumbscrews Press).

Still, none of my novels (The Immortals Act Their Age, Lepers and Mannequins, Mermaid Sackrace, The Quarantine Ceremony) have been published or accepted for publication. It’s exhausting thinking about this, about what I’m doing wrong. It's probably the writing.

In 2010, I became a contributor to The Nervous Breakdown. I’ve published 3 'controversial' essays so far, and I have ideas for several more.

Three of my stories were nominated for Best of the Net/Best of the Web awards.

I completed my coursework for my Bachelor’s degree in English. I recently got my grades, and, though I was worried, learned I passed all my classes with the lowest grades I've gotten since I've been in college: all B's. So, I will be graduating. I still can’t decide if I’m going to apply to grad school. I probably will—I like school, and don’t know what else to do.

I started reviewing books more. I haven't had much time to read things I want to read, being in school and all, so it feels good to be able to do that.

Some other things happened and didn't happen, probably.

NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS

1/ I’m going to fly to the moon and pulverize it with one punch. I’ll collect all the dust in my spaceship. I’ll return to Earth in the middle of the summer, rub the dust all over my body. I will take off all my clothes and block the sun from my body using the moon’s dust as an eclipse.

2/ I’m going to stop feeling bad about my relationships (or lack thereof) with people who don’t care about me. I’m going to rip my arms off and wrap them around my daughter so she never forgets that I love her more than anything, and she’ll bring my hug with her everywhere she goes.

3/ I’m going to not write very much. I know I won't stick to this. I’ve always wanted to be a ‘good’ writer. If I do break this resolution, I just want to be an ‘okay’ writer (I feel it's all I can hope for). I just want to be ‘okay’. I don’t want to feel anxious or sad anymore, or alone, or jealous, or worthless. Writing—No: trying to get published—makes me feel like that sometimes. I want to feel happy. Not even happy. I just want to feel good. Not even good. I just want to be okay.